Last week the Leicester Mercury carried a story about a man who was angry that 10 Downing Street refused to post an online petition calling for double killer Colin Pitchfork to be kept in prison for life, as it was "inappropriate".
I too have had an "inappropriate" petition rejected by Gordon Brown. Earlier this year I asked Number 10 if I could stick a petition on their website calling for a National Beatles Day, to recognise the contribution the Fab Four had made to the country and our place in the world. I added it would be a chance to dress as pop stars for the day and celebrate British music. Obviously I wanted everyone to have a day off in the form of a bank holiday. But Gordon Brown was having none of it.
This is probably because:
1) He is bitter that there are no decent bands from Scotland
2) And he has proper work to do, like learning to smile better when he is talking
3) He simply hates the Beatles
Listening to the Beatles makes us happy Gordon. Even my unborn twins like them.
On a slighty different note, I know talking about dreams is rubbish but I have to mention this. Last night I dreamt that I broke into a farm house on a hill after ditching my car, stole two cans of Fosters (which I never drink) and a can of Guinness (which I never drink) and put them in a bag to drink as I walked home, approxiately six dream miles.
What is that about then? I have googled it but the experts only deal in the ones where you go to work naked (fear of failure... to wear clothes) or the ones where you are falling (archaic memories from the time when we were tree-dwelling monkeys, apparently).
Finally, in a more lucid state, I told my wife that Lorriane Kelly of GMTV fame is less than four feet tall, which I know is a lie but I think is entirely believable, so tell everyone you know. I also wonder if there are any other decent lies we could put around?